This is a pretty good metaphor for $50 tattoos as well….

With the popularity of tattooing and the rising awareness that you need a formal education, “tattoo schools” are popping up around the country, guaranteeing they’ll teach you how to tattoo in as little as two weeks. And, of course, it’s a scam.

Here are some photos from one of the bigger tattoo schools in Michigan, and why you can’t trust shit.

A formal apprenticeship takes 3-5 years. During that time you’ll mostly be learning how to  eat shit from the established tattoo artists in the shop, cleaning/setting up for them, and generally learning about tattooing. Apprenticeships weed out the weak. Plus, they’re super hard to come by. Tattoo schools are a short cut for those who don’t want to invest in this formal education, or who won’t be accepted. Do you really want to be tattooed by someone who isn’t invested or good enough?

In a formal apprenticeship, you also learn about safety. Why shops shouldn’t have fabric chairs for clients. Why you wear gloves. Most tattoo schools will cover this because of how widely the importance of it is understood, but do you want to trust your body to someone with years of understanding of bloodborn pathogens, HIV, infections, and sanitation—or two weeks?

More importantly, tattoo schools cheapen the value of real artists. Formal apprenticeships are the equivalent to an undergrad. They take the same time commitment and demonstrate the same level of understanding.

You wouldn’t trust a stranger with a calculator to do your taxes. Don’t trust someone with a tattoo machine to do your tattoos unless they have the background and experience to be a tattoo artist.

A “blow out” is when tattoo ink spreads to other areas of our body via the capillaries. The main reason for this is because the artist inserted the tattoo ink passed the dermis into the fatty subdermis which disperses the ink. The second reason is because the part of your body you have the tattoo on is in constant contact with a shoe or some foreign object and it breaks up the ink over time, giving it a blurring effect.

YIKES. I’m cringing so hard, this just showed up on my dash and it’s hurting me. This kid is actually pitching this human as a tattoo artist. LOOK AT IT. OH MY GOOD LAWRRDD. NO. 

I had to share it, I couldn’t handle it alone. 

I’m hoping I don’t have to explain why this is shit to everyone.

An email submission. I’d quickly like to add a corretion, however:

Found this on @katjyaaa’s reblog of my scratchers post.

HILARIOUS AND RELEVANT TO EVERYTHING.

“It’s the Native American symbol for ‘wasted’.”

(Source: critink)

WHY THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A “CHEAP” TATTOO

A couple of people have asked me what “scratchers” are, as I’ve referred to them quite a bit here. A scratcher is someone who scratches at your skin—they don’t tattoo it. Your skin might have some colored markings on it, but it’s not a piece of art. I’m going to quickly go over why there’s no such thing as a cheap tattoo, and why the $20 special will cost you more long-run.

SCRATCHERS HAVE NO HEALTH/SAFETY TRAINING

A tattoo artist will use fresh needles, put their instruments into an autoclave before reusing, use fresh gloves (usually multiple pairs), add a barrier between your body and their seat/arm rest, keep their shop super clean, and are registered with the health department. Scratchers are often missing most or all of these.

Also—you know you can get HIV from sharing needles, right? You know there are people claiming to be tattoo artists who will reuse needles, right? And even if they give you fresh needles, tattooing in a dirty environment or with their dirty hands can lead to infection. Have you seen an infected tattoo before? [click here] I’m not even going to post a picture of it because it’s so fucking gross. And getting that fixed? $$$

YOU WANT A TATTOO THAT WILL LAST OVER TIME

Tattoo ink is injected by the machine so that it’ll be wedged between your layers of skin. Without formal training, it’s hard to learn how deep to put it in, and how to put it in evenly. Fun fact: when you see line work that looks like the one below, most of the ink has fallen out and it not only looks like shit now, but will be totally fucked up in less than a decade.

Also, they usually can’t fucking draw. Just saying.

OKAY, I GOT A SCRATCHER TATTOO. I’M GOING TO FIX IT.

Not that easy! When you want to fix a tattoo, you can either cover it up or lazer, but the most successful strategy is usually a few lazer sessions to lighten it, then covering it up since lazers aren’t 100%.

But if you got a scratcher tattoo? If they used too much black, you won’t be able to cover it up because of how dark it is. So you want to lazer? Because the pigments weren’t all at the same level of skin, the lazer has a hard time locating and breaking them up. So bad tattoos are actually harder to get rid of.

And you thought you were getting a cheap tattoo. The cost is all in the back end.

BUT TATTOOS ARE SO EXPENSIVE

You get what you pay for. With a scratcher, you’re paying for a guy with no training and shitty equipment to inject you with some ink. With a tattoo artist, you pay for:

• 3-5 years training in a tattoo shop (same time commitment as an undergrad)
• Dozens of books, good equipment, and safety equipment like gloves, medical barriers, clean arm rests/chairs, and cleaning products
• About 40-60% of the tattoo goes to the shop which trains new tattoo artists; keeps the place clean and stocked; and generally running.
• Tattoo artists technically work for themselves, so if they have health insurance or other benefits that come with most jobs, they pay for it.
• Free consultations; behind the scenes work like working on your drawings at home; going to conventions to continue learning; and more work that you don’t even see.

THE LARGER IMPACT OF SCRATCHING

When you get a scratch tattoo, you’re not just doing yourself an injustice. You’re supporting a little cockroach which helps take away money from actual tattoo artists.

And, when you run around with your “new ink” telling everyone how you got it for $20, you’re lowing the wages of trained tattoo artists, which lowers the standards of the whole craft.

Finally, you reflect badly on the rest of us. The people who spend good money and love the art are lumped in with your shitty, faded tattoos, and it make it easier to discriminate against tattooed people.

Learn the difference between good and bad tattoos. Learn about the history and safety of the craft. Get good tattoos and be cool.

awfulmodifications:

I was going through my news feed on Facebook and i noticed my cousin posted this picture and the caption said ” If you buy 2 Taco orders and a Chesco you’ll get a Free Tattoo” . Are you kidding me?

Whats awful: A very bad Environment, many airborne bacteria can reach onto the skin and cause infection. I highly doubt ANY of the equipment is Sterile. 

How it can be fixed: Go to a professional shop. Get informed about tattoos the Pro’s and Con’s , don’t be ignorant.

PRO TIP: YOU CAN’T FIX AIDS. Even less-extreme infections can’t get fixed. Someone should inform the freakin’ health department and get this guy shut down…

I’m sorry for the terrible webcam photo, but this tattoo is horrific and I never felt inclined to photograph it properly.

Basically I’d like your advice on my tattoo and what I should do with it. I went to an “artist” and said I’d like to get the album artwork from Tool’s Lateralus on my thigh - the exact design (I know this is tacky but I am okay with tacky, not poorly done). I had a tattoo done by this artist before and it turned out great. 

However, this Lateralus piece is a mess. It’s about the size of an outstretched hand on the side of my thigh, pretty high up so I could have it covered when I wear shorts in the summer.

The design of the piece is that the ink is supposed to transition as a gradient from one color to the other. The artist did not do this: instead, she choose to use thick lines of each color (purple, blue, green - I wouldn’t let her go any further), and the green and purple are darker than the blue so it does not transition well at all. 

She ground my leg to hamburger meat and I knew there was something wrong when, after three hours on the table for a relatively small piece, my leg was bleeding pretty profusely and started to hurt. She stopped for the night as the shop was closing, and said I could come back later to get it finished after two weeks.

Another thing that indicated there was something wrong was that she did not cover my tattoo with Saran or some other kind of acceptable wrap - she put cloth over it. When I took the cloth off as soon as I got home, my tattoo started healing to the cloth and the ink and blood left a perfect impression in it.

I did not go back to get it finished because the ink fell out a good deal in the healing process. It left white scar tissue behind, and the tattoo looks terrible now. It’s an embarrassment and something that makes me thoroughly pissed off because this tattoo was supposed to be beautiful, as it holds much meaning for me.

I would now like to get this piece finished or cover it up, after having this agonizingly terrible tattoo for over a year now.

Is there any way artists can cover over scars? Would a cover up be feasible over dark purple, blue and green ink? Can the tattoo itself be finished without looking like shit?

I know those are a lot of questions without a good picture, but I’d really like advice on this and I have no idea who to go to. I don’t want to waste my money, time, and skin again, so I will leave it as-is as long as it takes to find a great artist.

This is like the saddest story ever. You 100% did the right thing by not going back to her. Also, if she stopped because the shop was closing, she was probably just cutting her losses and not trying to damage it anymore. (As a body painter, I’ve found myself in a similar position before.)

If you go to a great artist, you can definitely cover this up. But you might also want to do yourself a favor and ask said artist if it would help them to do a few lazer sessions as well. Lightening it slightly would certainly make it easier. But because of how close those colors are together, you really won’t be able to blend them into each other (aka: save it) without making a mess of that area.

Also, write a shitty review about them online so no one else makes that mistake. The internet is a great way to save other people’s skin.

Justice is served.

I’m not trying to be mean when I say this, but these are probably the worst tattoos submitted to me so far. I just want to stress that pretty much everything went wrong with these that could, so here’s the list:

• LINES One of the most important aspects in a tattoo, and probably the worst part of these. Look at that bird—the lines are shakey and lighter in some places than in others. It’s even more obvious than in the lettering. This is SUPER important, because it means the tattoo was placed in different layers of your skin instead of uniformly. That means that not only will parts age faster, but some parts are going to blow out; some are going to come right out in the healing process; and lazering it would be ineffective.
• COMPOSITION ”Ethan” has no relationship to the bird—it was just slapped there. The wrap around text is all way too close to each other to be readable, and is all at  super weird angle. Also the fuck is even happening in that circle?
• COLOR Straight up looks like This “Tattoo Brought To You by Crayola”
• DOES THIS PERSON EVEN KNOW HOW TO DRAW?

(Source: critink)