Displaying results for "lulz"

Preparing For Your First Tattoo (Or: How You Know You’re Ready)

I’ve been asked more than a few times the same question by followers who don’t have any tattoos. Its basic enough, and something the rest of us have thought at some point or other I assume. The question is this: how do I know if I really want a tattoo?

Lucky for you guys, I’ve decided to write a guide. Hope this helps!

1. Tell your parents you want to get a tattoo. Let them lecture you for five hours. Once you get one, they’re probably going to do this anyway, so just get it out of the way.

2. Yourenow ready to get your first tattoo! Find a local artist, and give them $300 for a small painting or $2000 for a larger one. Don’t actually let them give it to you completed: just hang an unfinished canvas on your wall for between a few weeks ro a few years. Whenever someone comes over, try not to be weird when they compliment it and you explain its not done yet. You’re now ready to pay for your tattoo!

3. Can you handle the pain? That’s easy enough to figure out. Take a cardboard box large enough to fit your arm and one adult cat. Saw a hole large enough to fit your arm in so it sits like a sleeve. Now go visit animal control and have one of the officers place a feral cat in the box before taping in shut. Let the cat claw up your arm for three hours. Make sure therss a sign near by that says “no whining.” Try to strike up a conversation wigh the animal control officer, acting as naturally as possible. At the ens of your session, have him rouggly slap Vaseline on your arm then make sure you tip him.

4. Let the healing process begin! Grt a sunburn, preferably on you cat-destroyed arm, assuming theres still skin on it. Then every 3 hours have someone slap it. This is what it feels like to moisturize a fresh tattoo! Also, no itching as you’ll ruin it. If you’re planning on getting tattooed in summer, cancel all your plans to visit beaches, pools, or sunshine to keep from ruining your new art.

5. You made it! Now welcome to thw joys of being a tattooed person. Buy a shirt that says “please give me you opinions about how I look” then wear it around for two weeks. You’re now ready for old people, conservatives/religious types, and any white man older than you.

6. Buy a second shirt that says “please ask me stupid questions” and wear that for the following two weeks. Answer everyone politely, and try to go anout your day. Alternatively, this could say “tell me about your bad tattoos” because people with bad tattoos will looooove to show them off once they see you have some too. Unfortunately, those with better tattoos are probably going to talk tattoos less with you than someone who got their boyfriends name tattooed on their neck by their cousin.

7. Ready to get a job? Wear a turtle neck, dress pants, and closed shoes into a sauna. Resist the urge to roll up your clothing. You’re now ready to go to work during summer with your tattoos covered!

8. Lets look a few years down the road now. Smear india ink over the part of your mm ody where you want to be tattooed. Its neen a few decades and your tattoo is faded! Either you can live with it or repeat steps 2-4 to get it touched up.

Congratulations! You’re now ready for your first tattoo. Good luck, and choose a good artist! Remember: you get what you pay for!

349 notes | Posted Apr 21, 13 #tattoos #lulz #tattoo meme #tattoo jokes #first tattoo #art

If you don’t think your tattoo artist should go in drunk, neither should you! Alcohol and tattoos don’t mix kids…

If you don’t think your tattoo artist should go in drunk, neither should you! Alcohol and tattoos don’t mix kids…

83 notes | Posted Mar 28, 13 #tattoos #lulz #tattoo history #safety #health

*5,500 years old

*5,500 years old

287 notes | Posted Feb 26, 13 #tattoos #lulz

282 notes | Posted Feb 24, 13 #tattoos #lulz #tattoo meme

I actually like when people want to compare tattoos 90% of the time hahaha but I’m interested to see what others think!

I actually like when people want to compare tattoos 90% of the time hahaha but I’m interested to see what others think!

(Source: kateordie)

4,640 notes | Posted Feb 16, 13 #lulz

This is a pretty good metaphor for $50 tattoos as well….

This is a pretty good metaphor for $50 tattoos as well….

132 notes | Posted Feb 14, 13 #tattoos #lulz #scratcher #scratchers

Critink GIf Challenge
You know the rules. Click the camera icon and send me your best reaction gif.
Because this one is something else…

Critink GIf Challenge

You know the rules. Click the camera icon and send me your best reaction gif.

Because this one is something else…

74 notes | Posted Feb 12, 13 #lulz #tattoos

gpoy

gpoy

334 notes | Posted Feb 8, 13 #tattoos #lulz

As an addendum to all of the tattooed princesses…

As an addendum to all of the tattooed princesses…

160 notes | Posted Feb 6, 13 #tattoos #lulz

Lasers

Lasers

554 notes | Posted Feb 4, 13 #tattoos #cats #lulz

It seems like everyone’s getting tattoos these days…

It seems like everyone’s getting tattoos these days…

23 notes | Posted Feb 2, 13 #tattoos #lulz

I just want you guys to know that this guy is alive somewhere living his life with a giant American flag face tattoo.
And there was an artist that thought this was a good idea.

I just want you guys to know that this guy is alive somewhere living his life with a giant American flag face tattoo.

And there was an artist that thought this was a good idea.

180 notes | Posted Jan 31, 13 #bad tattoos #lulz

The jokes on this blog are totally getting worse as time goes on… guys send me material…

The jokes on this blog are totally getting worse as time goes on… guys send me material…

2,618 notes | Posted Jan 27, 13 #tattoos #lulz

omgsodeep:

I GOT A TATTOO THAT SAYS “EXIST” INCASE I FORGET TO.

upside down on my wrist.

(via trinkkets)

215 notes | Posted Jan 26, 13 #lulz

I wish conversations about my tattoos were actually this interesting….

I wish conversations about my tattoos were actually this interesting….

105 notes | Posted Jan 25, 13 #tattoos #lulz