Taking Lesson from Rhianna: What Your Tattoos
Probably Shouldn’t Look Like
I’ve heard at least two blog credit Rhianna with starting this insane trend of tiny tattoos with bad placement. I cannot find anything about her tattoos that is worth liking—every piece is Bad Tattoos 101. Let’s go through the list.
- NECK: Bad Translations. Outside of what a bad idea neck tattoos are for 99% of the population, Rhianna’s french neck tattoo is also a bad translation. In a leaked text to her tattoo artist, she tried to head off the media’s questions: “rebelle fleur translates to rebel flower, NOT rebelious flower, its 2 nouns so in that case fleur does not HAVE to be first! Fyi, cuz they will ask.”
- FOOT: Too Small. Between the placement and the size, that’s going to turn into a tiny, birthmark-lookin’ smudge in a few years. Also, you can’t tell anything about it from more than a foot away—which is usually too close for comfort for someone’s face to get to your foot! Foot tattoos should be big and bold to hold over time and to see from a distance.
- HAND: Not a Great Idea. For her and her career it’s fine. But for the rest of us? I keep running into all of these young kids (under 20) with no major tattoos except for their hands and neck. WORST. IDEA. EVER. So many employers, banks, cops, and general people with power will discriminate against you because of this. Don’t do it unless you’re already heavily tattooed and know you can handle it.
- INNER FINGER: Falls Out Quickly. And then you’re left with smudges—especially if yours is as bold as hers.
- TOP SHOULDER: For The Birds. No one can see that unless they’re above you. So they’re birds, or their a waiter coming to take your order. And even then, this would be backwards looking to the waiter. Such a weird placement and bad trend.
- SIDE: Tiny tattoo, big canvas. That little gun looks like it’s just floating in space…
- COLLAR BONE: It’s fucking backwards. And you guys get mad at me for calling wrist tattoos “backwards.” This one is really, super messed up. I CAN’T EVEN
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